When I Do Something Good,

You Know, Some People Say Life Is Short And That You Could Get Hit By A Bus At Any Moment And That You Have To Live Each Day Like It's Your Last. Bullshit. Life Is Long. You're Probably Not Gonna Get Hit By A Bus. And You're Gonna Have To Live With The Choices You Make For The Next Fifty Years.

Why Do People Do Yoga? To Clear Their Minds? I Embrace The Clutter In My Head.

I Don't Write Jokes First. I Write Down Topics. I Think Of What I Want To Talk About, And Then I Write The Jokes - They Don't Write Me... And Even If You Don't Think It's Funny, You Won't Think It's Boring. You Might Disagree, But You'll Listen. And Maybe Even Laugh As You Disagree.

You Could Be Married And Bored Or Single And Lonely. Ain't No Happiness Nowhere.

A White Boy That Makes C's In College Can Make It To The White House.