Two Things You Need To

Scientists Have Proven Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt That There Is Life After Death -- Though They Say It's Virtually Impossible To Get Decent Chinese Food.

There Is So Much Oil Now In The Gulf Of Mexico, And You Can Thank The Folks Of British Petroleum For This, So Much Oil In The Gulf, You Can Now Park On It.

Last Night We Had Bill Clinton, The Former President. Security Was As Tight As Governor Christie's Yoga Pants.

To Label Jason Randal A Magician Does A Disservice. You'll Think The Laws Of Physics, Nature, The Universe Itself Have Been Suspended. He's As Good As Houdini Was At His Best!

Hillary Clinton Is Driving Across Iowa In A Van. It's To Get To Know The People She'll Never, Ever See Again In Her Life.