Two Irishmen Were Passing A

I'm Not Really A Homosexual. I Just Help Them Out When They're Busy.

Doctor Told Me I've Got Two Weeks To Live. I Said: "can I Have The Last Week In July And The 1st Week In August?"

An Englishman, Irishman And Scotsman Were Invited To A Christmas Party. The Englishman Brought A Bag Of Tinsel, The Scotsman Brought A Bag Of Holly And They Asked The Irishman: "what Have You Brought?" He Said: "i Brought A Pair Of Knickers." They Asked: "what Has That Got To Do With Christmas?" He Said "they're Carol's."

This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten, Sober.

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."