The Trees In Siberia Are

I Have The Perfect Simplified Tax Form For Government. Why Don't They Just Print Our Money With A Return Address On It?

I Would Not Have Had Anything To Eat If It Wasn't For The Stuff The Audience Threw At Me.

In England When You Make A Movie Even The Weather Is Against You. In Hollywood The Weatherman Gets A Shooting Schedule From All The Major Studios And Then Figures Out Where He Can Fit In A Little Rain Without Upsetting Metro-goldwyn-mayer Too Much.

I've Been Married Fifty-five Years And I've Been Home Three Weeks.

I Don't Do A Lot Of Political Jokes. Too Many Are Getting Elected.