The Mint Makes It First,

A Smart Mother Suggests That Her Child Bring An Apple To His Teacher; A Smarter Mother Suggests That He Bring A Couple Of Aspirins.

[statistics] The Science That Can Prove Everything Except The Usefulness Of Statistics.

Man Is The Control Experiment Of Heredity And Environment; And Since His Heredity Controls Him, He Tries To Control His Environment.

[statistics] Fiction In Its Most Uninteresting Form.

[a Mathematician Is A] Scientist Who Can Figure Out Anything Except Such Simple Things As Squaring The Circle And Trisecting An Angle.