The Major Parties Could Conduct

Think, For A Moment, Of The Countless Happy Childhood Hours You Spent With This Amazing Device: Drawing Perfect Horizontals, Drawing Perfect Verticals, Drawing Really Spastic Diagonals, Trying To Scrape Away The Silver Powder From The Window So You Could Look Inside.

No Matter What Happens, Somebody Will Find A Way To Take It Too Seriously.

I Hope I Don't Sound Like An Old-fashioned Stick-in-the-mud, But When I Hear About People Making Vast Fortunes Without Doing Any Productive Work Or Contributing Anything To Society, My Reaction Is: “how Can I Get In On That?

You Don't Have To Think Really Hard To Get The Joke. I Think Humor In General Appeals To All People.

The Mollusks—generous Hosts When They Weren’t Trying To Kill You.