The French Announced Today That

I've Lost Some Weight. I Am On That New Obama Diet. Every Day I Let Vladimir Putin Eat My Lunch.

The Latest Issue Of Gq Magazine, John Kerry Talks About What A Man Should Look For In A Woman. Gq? If John Kerry Is Going To Talk About What He Likes In A Woman, Shouldn't It Be In Fortune Or Money Magazine?

I Saw Something Stupid In The Paper Today - A New Alarm Clock That Makes No Noise. It's For People Who Don't Like Loud Noises. Instead, It Slowly Hits You With Light And Gets Brighter And Brighter Until You Wake Up. I Already Have One Of Those... It's Called A Window.

You Know, It Shows How Old I Am. I Can Remember The Good Old Days When The President Picked The Supreme Court Justices Instead Of The Other Way Around.

John Kerry Described His Republican Critics As 'the Most Crooked, Lying Group I've Ever Seen.' Now, That's Saying Something, Because Kerry's Both A Lawyer And A Politician.