Snooki Is Now A Published

My Good Friend Paul Shaffer And I Are Going To Continue In Show Business. Next Month Paul And I Will Debut Our New Act At Caesar's Palace With Our White Tigers.

George W. Bush Has A New Campaign Slogan: "a Reformer With Results." I Don't Know What It Means [but] I Think It's Better Than His Old Campaign Slogan: "a Dumb Guy With Connections.

Mitt Romney Looks Like A Guy Modeling Briefs On A Package Of Underwear ... He Looks Like A Guy Who Goes To The Restroom When The Check Comes ... He Looks Like A Guy Who Would Run A Seminar On Condo Flipping ... He Looks Like He Is The Closer At A Cadillac Dealership.... He Looks Like That Guy On The Golf Course In The Levitra Commercial.

They're Talking About Putting A Woman On The $20 Bill. And Hillary Said, 'i'm Available.'

It Was Announced That President Obama And His Wife, When They're Finished In Washington, Are Moving To New York City. The Guy Just Can't Get Enough Gridlock.