Scrabble Was Invented By Nazis

No Matter How Much Makeup I Wore, People Just Kept Saying "yes, Sir! Would You Like Tea With That, Sir?" "yes, I Would Like Tea. Why Don't You Put It On My Breasts?" "certainly. Tea For This Man's Breasts! Anything Else, Sir?"

I Saw Something In A Program On Something In Miami, And They Were Saying, "we've Redecorated This Building To How It Looked Over 50 Years Ago!" And People Were Going, "no, Surely Not, No. No One Was Alive Then."

If You Get Anything Creative Going, Then The Work And Play Thing Is The Same Thing, I Feel.

I Try To Keep Performing As Much As Possible - I Just Like To. I Used To Take Huge Gaps Off Between Gigs, Now I Just Like To Do Stand-up Gigs As Much As I Can.

If You're Choking In A Restaurant You Can Just Say The Magic Words, 'heimlich Maneuver,' And All Will Be Well. Trouble Is, It's Difficult To Say 'heimlich Maneuver' When You're Choking To Death.