Religion Is Such A Medieval

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

One [expert] Said, 'always Have A Baby Sitter Who Is Acquainted With Your Children.' If They Were Acquainted With My Children, They Wouldn't Sit!

When You Hire A Person To Plan Your Wedding, This Does Not Include Securing The Groom. Plan To Get Married On Friday The 13th. In Years To Come This Will Make It Much Easier To Explain Why Things Turned Out Badly. To Look Beautiful At Your Wedding, Take Time To Plan It. It Took Me A Long Time To Find Two Ugly Bridesmaids And A Frumpy Little Flower Girl.

You Want To Look Younger... Rent Smaller Children.

Doctors Say It's Okay To Have Sex After A Heart Attack, Provided You Close The Ambulance Door.