No One Has Ever Gone

First Off, Lardass, You Neglected To Include A Sign-off, Forcing Me To Create One For You. I Tried To Create One That Captured The Spirit And Tone Of Your Letter, And I Think I Did Pretty Well. [] I Am Thoroughly Annoyed At Having My Tame Statements Of Fact-being Heavy Is A Health Risk; Rolls Of Exposed Flesh Are Unsightly-characterized As “hate Speech.”

You Could Fly Under The Radar A Little Bit. You Could Be A Weird Kid Without Defaulting To Gay, Without Everyone Assuming You Must Be Gay - That Was Literally The Last Place Many People Went.

One Man's Blasphemy Doesn't Override Other People's Free-speech Rights, Their Freedom To Publish, Freedom Of Thought.

Owning A Gun In America Is One Way For Conservative White Males To Demonstrate Their Anger At Crime, Liberalism, Feminism, And Modernity.

I'm An Agnosto-theist. I Cross Myself On Airplanes. I Pray When I'm Sick. When You're Sick I'll Keep You In My Thoughts; When I'm Sick, I'm Entreating A Higher Power.