My Sister Was So Promiscuous

On The Way To The Delivery Room, I Almost Changed My Mind About Having A Baby. I Wouldn't Have Found It So Hard To Go Ahead With It If I Had Realized That Having A Baby Was The Only Way I Could Ever Become A Grandmother.

When I Go To Bed At Night, I've Got So Much Grease On My Body I Wear Snow Chains To Hold Up My Gown.

His Finest Hour Lasted A Minute And A Half.

I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing. There's No Use Doing It Now, It Doesn't Fit Anybody I Know.

Absolutely Nothing Was Happening In My Marriage. I Nicknamed My Waterbed, Lake Placid!