My Husband Says, 'god, Roseanne,

We're Not Meant To Be Parents When We're 50.

Take This Marriage Thing Seriously - It Has To Last All The Way To The Divorce.

Comedy Is The Only Hope For Humanity.

I Know That I Pay 48 Percent Of My Income To Taxes. You Know, I Wouldn't Mind So Much If It Wasn't Going Just To Export War. If It Was Actually Going To Help The People Of The United States, I Would Gladly Pay More.

I'm On The Mirror Diet. You Eat All Your Food In Front Of A Mirror In The Nude. It Works Pretty Good, Though Some Of The Fancier Restaurants Don't Go For It.