If You Spend All Your

I've Never Done Anything For Money, And That Is Why I Got Money. When You Do Stuff For Money, You Never Get Money.

I Didn't Know That Being In A Relationship Meant You Had To Be Nice. I Thought It Meant You Had To Hack Away At The Other Person Until They Were Beaten Down And Then Were Too Afraid To Leave.

Eat As Much As You'd Like. My Philosophy Has Always Been That All Women Desire To Be As Fat As Myself But Just Have A Great Fear Of Doing So. Because They Think They Won't Get Any Men, But You Will. You'll Get More Men, And Better Men.

Have You Heard About The Women Who Stabbed Her Husband 37 Times? I Admire Her Restraint.

They've Said 'roseanne's Nuts' For Years, And Now I'm Going To Make That A Reality - I'm All About Nuts Now, Macadamia Nuts!