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You Save 15 More Minutes Of Sleep If You Are A Man And You Don't Have To Shave.

Actually, I Used To Be A Busboy In A Strip Joint In New York And So I Hate Strip Joints. I'm Not That Kind Of Person.

My Name Is Zach Galifianakis And I Hope I'm Pronouncing That Right. I'm Named After My Granddad, My Middle Name. My Name Is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.

My Forte Is Awkwardness.