If I Had One Wish,

The Greatest Threat Facing American Today - Next To Voter Fraud, The Western Pinebark Beetle, And The Memory Foam Mattress - Is The National News Media.

We All Deserve Credit For This New Surveillance State That We Live In Because We The People Voted For The Patriot Act. Democrats And Republicans Alike....we Voted For The People Who Voted For It, And Then Voted For The People Who Reauthorized It, Then Voted For The People Who Re-re-authorize D It.

I Love Being Onstage, I Love The Relationship With The Audience.

Arbitrary Rules Teach Kids Discipline: If Every Rule Made Sense, They Wouldn't Be Learning Respect For Authority, They'd Be Learning Logic.

Republicans And Nerds Have So Much In Common -- They Both Live In Fantasy Worlds And Have No Idea How To Relate To Women.