I Write Characters That Are

I Talk About Stuff Like My Blackberry, Lost, The Internet, Music, Etc. So I Guess That Leads To The "nerd" Moniker. But I Don't Get It That Much To Be Honest. I Guess Its Better Than Being Labeled A "racist" Comedian.

You've Got To Be Pretty Confident That You're Good. If I Do A Show And For Whatever Reason No One Laughs, I'll Be Like, 'wow, Those People Are Weird'.

Zerts' Are What I Call Desserts. 'trée-trées' Are Entrées. I Call Sandwiches 'sammies,' 'sandoozles,' Or 'adam Sandlers.' Air Conditioners Are 'cool Blasterz' With A 'z' - I Don't Know Where That Came From. I Call Cakes 'big Ol' Cookies.' I Call Noodles 'long-ass Rice.' Fried Chicken Is 'fry-fry Chicky-chick.' Chicken Parm Is 'chicky-chicky-parm-parm.' Chicken Cacciatore? 'chicky-cacc.' I Call Eggs 'pre-birds,' Or 'future Birds.' Root Beer Is 'super Water.' Tortillas Are 'bean Blankets.' And I Call Forks 'food Rakes.'

This Is One Of My Favorite Pick Up Strategies: I'm Constantly Giving Women My Keys. So Far, None Of Them Have Shown Up. Matter Of Time. And I've Been Robbed Twice.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.