I Would Rather Have Someone

We Always Think Of A Diet With A Big Groan. But I Think Diets Are Fun. I Think It Is An American Pastime For A Lot Of Women.

If I Gave My Mother A Knitted Scarf She'd Be Worried I Was Wasting My Time Doing Stupid Stuff Like Knitting Instead Of School Work. Presenting A Homemade Knitted Object To My Parents Was Actually Like Handing Them A Detailed Backlog Of My Idleness.

Future Hipsters Will Love Me Ironically.

People Talk About Mumblecore But I Prefer Bumblecore, Hyper-realistic Bee Movies About How Bees Really Are.

There Has Ceased To Be A Difference Between My Awake Clothes And My Asleep Clothes