I Was Going To Buy

I Don't Deserve This Award, But I Have Arthritis And I Don't Deserve That Either.

Try To Save Something While Your Salary Is Small; It's Impossible To Save After You Begin To Earn More.

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.

Gags Die, Humor Doesn't.

It's Not So Much Knowing When To Speak, When To Pause.