I Thought The Office Was

Then You Get These Articles About How Unhealthy Life Is In The City. You Know; Mobile Phone Tumours - Far More Likely In The City. Well You Know What, So Is Everything Else! Including Sex, Coffee And Conversation.

I Did Throw A Lot Of Eggs Into One Basket, As You Do In Your Teenage Years - 'i Am Buying These Records, I Am Wearing This'. I Did Quite A Bit Of That. You Have To Do It, Wear Your Stupid Shoes, Wear Your Stupid Hair.

Oh How I Hate You. I Hate You So Much It Gives Me Energy. I Have To Get Up Early In The Morning Just To Hate You, Because There's Not Enough Time In The Day! Please Go Away!

Adulthood Feels Like Walking Around In The Desert With A Bag Over Your Head, Being Bumped Into By People Who Rob You As They Bore You.

You Try Various Things When You're Growing Up. I Was An Attache In The Foreign Service For A While And Then I Drove A Bulldozer, But Neither Of Those Panned Out For Me So It Had To Be Stand-up.