I Surround Myself With Women

Whenever I Hang Out With My Female Friends, I Feel Like Context Is Never Needed. They Can Just Say Two Words About Something, It's Like Hearing The First Two Notes Of A Song And You Can Always Identify The Song. They Can Just Say A Word And I Know Exactly What They're Talking About.

I Tell Myself It's A Virtue, My Failure To Sleep In My Own House, Or At All. I Tell Myself That I Spend More Hours Than Most People Aware That I Am Alive, And That Over A Lifetime This Adds Up To More Living, More Aliveness. I Am More Alive Than The Rest Of My Family. Which Is My Greatest Night Fear. Which Is Why I Hunt. I Don't Ever Want To Be More Alive Than They Are.

We're Taught To Find The Antecedents To Our Adult Failures In Childhood Traumas, And So We Spend Our Lives Looking Bacwards And Pointing Fingers, Rather Than Bucking Up And Forging Ahead. But What If Your Childhood Was All A Big Misunderstanding? An Elaborate Ruse? What Does That Say About Failure? Better Yet, What Does That Say About Potential?

I'm At That Age Where I Notice Friends Checking Out My Face And Wondering, Has She Been Botoxed? There's A New Map There People That Are Trying To Read. I Think If I Did Get Any Kind Of Enhancement I Would Be Very Public About It. I Don't Want People Wondering - I Want Them To Know.

I Think What Can Be Most Shameful Or Embarrassing Is When Our Bodies Broadcast A Secret We'd Prefer No One To Know. This Is Why I Hate Rashes, In Particular Face Rashes.