I Never Do Impressions, But

It's A Very Odd Thing With Hollywood, Where You Do Stand-up, You're Good At It, Then They Go, "how Would You Like To Be A Horrible Actor?" Then You Say, "all Right, That Sounds Good. I'll Do That."

The Promises We Break Are Usually Such As We Are Most Forward In Making.

Education Makes Some Men Wiser, Others More Ridiculous And Foolish!

I Went To A Hypnotist. He Put Me Under A Spell, And Every Time I Had A Craving For A Cigarette, I Would Throw Up. It's Very Embarrassing Right After Sex. I Find It Pretty Hard To Get That Second Date After That. Girls Get All Snobby After You Barf On Them.

In Estimating The Adversities Of Life, We Would Seldom Have Much Reason To Complain Of The Evils We Suffer, Did We Understand The Dangers We Daily Escape.