I Miss My Mattress When

Shakespeare, Who Never Could Think Up A Plot By Himself, Found This One [macbeth] In Holinshed's Chronicles, Changing It Just Enough So That No One Would Recognize The Source. He Didn't Count On The Resourcefulness Of Modern Scholars, Who Have To Discover Things Like This To Become Associate Professors.

I've Suffered From All Of The Hang-ups Known, And None Is As Bad As The Telephone.

Each Year It Grows Harder To Make Ends Meet - The Ends I Refer To Are Hands And Feet.

Adolescence Isn't A Period; It's A Coma.

There Is No Balm Of Gilead, No Salve, No Soothing Ointment To Stay The Pain Of One Who's Had In Love A Disappointment-- Unless It Be That Healing Lotion Of Fixing On A New Devotion.