I Have A Couple Of

Every Time I've Done Comedy In, Like, Traditional Comedy Clubs, There's Always These Comedians That Do Really Well With Audiences But That The Other Comedians Hate Because They're Just, You Know, Doing Kind Of Cheap Stuff Like Dancing Around Or Doing, Like, Very Kind Of Base Sex Humor A Lot, And Stuff Like That.

Come Cook Food With Me And Do Nothing.

You Should Really Treat Stand-up Like You Would A Play. It's A One-man Play.

I Strapped An Mp3 Player To One Of Those Floor-cleaning Robots. Call Him Dj Roomba - Little Guy Cruises Around And Plays Music. What's Hot, Dj Roomba!

One Of The Big Things I Miss About New York Is Not My Friends So Much; It's Shake Shack, The Burger Place. I Miss Shake Shack.