I Got A Job At

Sex Is Logically Impossible After Marriage. You Have To Overcome The Paradox Of Not This Again, And Hey, Where Did You Learn That?

A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A Philip Glass Record. I Listened To It For Five Hours Before I Realized It Had A Scratch On It.

The Scots Are A Very Tough People. They Have Drive-by Headbuttings. In Glasgow A Sweatband Is Considered A Silencer.

For Some Reason, Religious Jokes Seem As Trivial As Jokes About Food Or Driving.

New York's Such A Wonderful City. Although I Was At The Library Today. The Guy Was Very Rude. I Said, "i'd Like A Card." He Says, "you Have To Prove You're A Citizen Of New York." So I Stabbed Him.