I Always Liked Mitt Romney.

And Tar Is Washing Up Onto The Beaches - Big Globs Of Tar. And People Are Saying, 'is That Going To Ruin Our Summer At The Beach?' No, Of Course Not. You Take The Big Blobs Of Tar And You Use Them To Hold Down Your Blanket.

You All Know Newt Gingrich. Newt Is Short For Newton. People Say If That's The Case, What Is Mitt Short For? It's Short For 'mittens.'

Sarah Palin Had A Big Op-ed Piece In The Wall Street Journal, And She Said She's Against Death Panels. And I Thought, 'really? She's The One Who Pulled The Plug On The Mccain Campaign.'

The Reason I Vote Democrat Is Because I Think It's Better To Pay Billions For Oil To People Who Hate Us, But Not Drill Our Own Because It Might Upset Some Endangered Beetle, Gopher, Or Fish Here In America. We Don't Care About The Beetles, Gophers, Or Fish In Those Other Countries.

Bill Murray Is On The Show Tonight. Next Week I'll Be Goggling 'foods That Improve Prostate Health.'