Fat Jokes To Me Are

My Father Used To Beat Me With His Belt...while It Was Still On Him.

I'm Proud Of The Hangover, But To Be In Movies Like This, Which Are Really The Only Places I Can Get Work, It's Really Quite The Opposite Of What I Am. I Like Sensitive Art-house Movies. I'm Not Even Much Of A Partier. I Mean, I'll Drink Myself Into Oblivion Alone In My Car.

You Know It's Time To Do The Laundry When You Dry Off With A Sneaker.

My Name Is Zach Galifianakis And I Hope I'm Pronouncing That Right. I'm Named After My Granddad, My Middle Name. My Name Is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

I Don't Really Have A Pattern Yet. I Don't Know If I'll Develop One. As Far As Comedic Integrity, I Don't Have Integrity In General, Comedic Or Otherwise.