Conservatives Have A Problem With

What I'm Critical Of Is - The White House Attacking Conservatives, For Saying We're Elitist For Pointing Out That Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Sit On The Supreme Court. I'm Starting To Feel Sort Of Bad About - About Saying That. And I'm Annoyed With George Bush [jr.] For Putting Us In The Position Of Having To Say That.

I Sort Of Feel Sorry For Gays Being The Last Ones At The Sexual Revolution Window. We've Had Liberalizing Rules On Divorce. We've Had The Sexual Revolution. We've Had, You Know, The Pill, And Burning Bras And Rampant Premarital Sex And Polymorphous Perversity.

Yes, Of Course, Black Americans Are A Special Group, And I'm Disappointed That They're Not Republicans, Given Our Traditions. We're Not Getting Much Love In Return, Despite Our Efforts.

Obviously, I'm A Fan Of Satire. I'd Debate Anyone, But It Would Have To Be The Actual Person. That Would Be My Only Hesitation About Debating Stephen Colbert. If He Were Playing A Character, It Wouldn't Really Work.

I'm Getting A Little Tired Of Politicians Trying To Prove How 'moderate' And 'centrist' They Are By Taking More Of My Money And Freedom. Where's This Center - Somewhere Between Lenin And Stalin?