Christmas Is A Time When

There Isn't Any (afterlife), You Dingbat! This Is It, Baby! Enjoy, Carefully! Religion Is Such A Medieval Idea. Don't Get Me Started. I Have Thought About Every Facet Of Religion And I Can't Buy Any Of It. So God Made Man In His Own Image? It's Just The Other Way Around. Man Made God In His Own Image. It's All About Money.

My Husband Is So Useless That It's Hard For Me To Be Romantic With Him. I Get Down On The Floor And Say, If You Love Me, Blink Your Eyes.

This Man I Was Going With Asked Me For My Finger Measurements. I Thought He Was Going To Buy Me A Ring For Christmas, But He Gave Me A Bowling Ball.

If It Weren't For Baseball, Many Kids Wouldn't Know What A Millionaire Looked Like.

I Was So Wrinkled I Could Screw My Hats On.